Oblivion

I have a few movies that I watch time and again. They have a special meaning to me. Like songs, but longer. Here is my list of the movies that I like to whip out on certain occassions.  Dil Dhadakne Do : I have seen this movie quite a lot. I like how real it gets at time. I like the relationship between the characters of Ranveer and Priyanka. They remind me of my brother and myself. Its a realistic modern-day family drama, with a happy ending.  Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na : There is a story behind this one. It was I think the first year of college. It was late at night and I could not sleep. I decided to see if my friend who lived a few rooms away was up and if so we could hang out. Our rooms weren't that far, so I got up and started walking towards her room at about 3 am in the night, and to my surprise, I saw her walking towards mine at the exact same time. It was a moment for us. One that tells you, you are going to be friends for a long time. And we were. The best of friends for a lon

 Ohh this one is very simple. This is a pandemic. We have been living at home for 6 months now, five of which I have spent in Ambala with my parents. A city I don't know. I haven't spoken to a fourth human being face to face for a very long time, let alone someone my age. It has been frustrating.  Next weekend, I am going back to Gurgaon for a little while. My flatmates are going to be back. It will be good to hang out with people my age after so so long. Waking up in my own bed day after day for a while. Being able to listen to music that more than one person in the room enjoys. Aah! such fun I tell you. This is what I am excited about. Meeting my friends after so long. Sitting with them on the floor of my room, listening to coke studio, drinking and eating pav bhaji. I will miss the two crazy ice-cream bois though. These two idiots from Hyderabad who would in the middle of everything go really quite sit in a corner staring at their phone and you'd think some shit just wen

This feels like a task that a therapist would give someone who is utterly pessimistic and needs to change his or her outlook on life. Nonetheless, it is never a bad idea to count your blessing, is it? I am blessed to have the most understanding parents ever. Parents who let me be. Parents, you let me take my own decisions and act as supporting pillars as opposed to pushing their decisions on me. Parents who give me the space to talk about anything I would like from politics and Modi Ji to my ex-boyfriends and sex. It is a wide spectrum. They are a major reason for the confidence I have. Knowing that they are always there if I fall or take a bad decision, is such a morale booster. Parents who would do anything for their kids. I indeed am blessed to have them. I am blessed to have an extremely close extended fam. Most people I know have a very formal relationship with their cousins, aunts and uncles if any at all. When it comes to my family, the Ojhas and Pandeys, we are one big family.

 Hmm, interesting topic. There are a lot of choices we make on a regular basis that define everything in our lives. When I think about one of my "What if" moments, I can remember one decision I made back in 2013, that I felt myself going back to once in a while for a long time. I used to think about that decision with decreasing frequency over time. I don't do that anymore. Maybe because it has been a long time. The statute of limitations has run out.  Apart from that one thing seven years ago, I can't remember myself going back to any other crossroad I have been in my life, questioning my judgment or wondering what would have happened, let alone daydreaming about it. I mean I have made some very tough choices. Life-changing decisions so to speak, but somehow, I think that was the best thing for me to have done at that point in time. In fact, I will not say it best, but the only thing I could have lived with. I know it sounds too serious, but I am someone who needs to

There are a lot of things that speak to me. Different things at different points of time in my life.  The most recent one being something my brother said to me when I had spent almost full days in bed in complete darkness not talking to anyone, just sulking. I have written about this in one of my previous blogs as well. But since this one has been a roadblock for me for a while, might as well write it and move forward.  He said "Aru, we do good work not for recognition or appreciation, not that that's not helpful, neither do we do it for the company or the manager or colleague we might like. We do good work for ourselves. We do so so that we can learn and grow. We do so because not doing so would be ethically wrong. If we are ready to give up the minute we don't see a reward, then our motivation, to begin with, is wrong and corrupt and needs to change. So stick around for as long as you like, but while you are here do keep giving your best for yourself " And that made

Why do we say being materialistic is wrong? I think in the current times, our relationship with material things is more satisfying than the ones we have with people. Things always have time for you, they are never too busy or they never get tired of your shit! I mean does Amazon get tired of your orders? Does it say Shiro no more? Or does it ever ignore your order? Or has your book ever told you, it was tired? Or have your cigarettes refused to walk with you when you've had a bad day? No! Things are always there. So what is wrong if I choose to order a stupid post-it online if it makes me happy, or smoke an occasional cigarette to relieve some of that pressure inside my brain or play a game of Tetris to take my mind off thing. Okay, think of this. You are stressed. You reach out to a human to talk or for support, the human says no. Now you are stressed and rejected. Wouldn't you rather just be stressed? I think it is better to be attached to material possessions than human bein

One word. Confidence. This is something I have struggled with all my life and still do. Though to a significantly less extent, but I do. As a matter of fact, I have been struggling to write this post for a while now.  To put it in professional terms, I struggle with "visibility". I sort of always have, even outside the realm of consulting. I was never a quiet kid though. But that changed back in 2005 when we moved from Lucknow to Noida. I wasn't really able to adjust well with my new classmates I guess or maybe that was when puberty was just hitting and that is not a good phase for anyone. But since then, I became quiet, sort of reserved. I became friends with books. Went to the chocolate factory with Charlie, solved crimes with the famous five, hung out with the Wakefield Twins from Sweet Valley High and even went to the top of Mount Everest with Sir Edmund Hilary. Ohh and waited and hoped for my letter from Hogwarts.  I became this quiet little girl, who was good at mat

One thing you should know about me, I love music. I like my music like I like my oxygen, in abundance. I listen to almost everything. I am not very picky when it comes to different genres. Despite this love of music that I have, most of the music I listen to is recommended to me by people or I found it on my brother's playlist. So here are the top 10 songs I am loving right now Kasoor - Prateek Kuhad: This is one song I found myself after seeing it trend on twitter though Wish you were gay - Billie Eilish  Yesterday - The Beatles  Mere liye tum kaafi ho Pause - Prateek Kuhad  If the world was ending - JP Saxe & Julia Michael Bewajah - Nabeel Shaukat Ali Main har ek pal ka shair hoon  - Mukesh One Day - Kodaline Whatever will be, will be - Doris Day These are my top 10 right now. 

I am a pretty easy person to impress. It honestly doesn't take a lot. I don't look for material things, so you don't really have to plan extravagant dates for me to have a good time. Good conversation is all I need.  Remembering the little things? This is a good way of winning me over. When someone remembers the small details about things I might have told them randomly and they end up remembering those things, it makes my heart smile. It goes on to say that not only was that person actually listening to you but they cared enough to remember those things. Or it might not even be something I told them, something that they just observed themselves. Empathy goes a long way. When someone uses the pronoun we as in "we will figure this out", this instils a sense of belonging in me. A feeling of not being alone. A feeling that my problems are not mine alone, they are in it with me. And that they want me to help them solve their problems in life, they want me to be a part